Perchance to Dream
by TheSoundofMusicandLove
Summary: There's this plant, it grows on the outskirts of Mystic Falls, in those wide fields leading up to the mountain sides. Damon has seen her there but whenever he breeches the subject, she freezes up and avoid him for weeks. It isn't until he decides to follow her one day that he gets the truth out of her. She's dying and the only cure is a plant believed to be extinct...
1. Chapter 1

How hadn't he noticed anything about her weakening form? The slowly dwindling of her weight. The increased strain around her eyes. The ab-normalcy to her heartbeat? Right, because he was always preoccupied with competing with his younger brother for a woman he wasn't even sure he loved. He had always known Bonnie to be a slim, petite girl with womanly curves and so it was difficult to tell a difference. They were always seeking some form of help from her and with the kinds of powers she contained, it was no minor feat to gain strains around the eyes, yet he couldn't-for the life of him or the lack there of-find a valid excuse to justify the ab-normalcy of her heartbeat.

He watches her closely for a very long time and almost as if she can sense his gaze like a touch on her flesh, she turns in his direction and quirks a brow. He settles his usual scowl in place but even she can tell that it's half hearted. She breaths a resigned sigh and continues with her reading, something she's been doing more and more frequently at the manor. He takes another sip of whiskey and leans his head back against the cushioned seat. Propping his feet up on the coffee table, he misses the hooded look she casts in his direction.

"Do you need to be in here, Damon?" He opens his eyes at the annoyed hiss of her voice and smirking he turns those piercing eyes onto her. He notices the slight shift she makes in her seat and his grin widens.

"As a matter of fact, I thought I would get some reading done." She snorts at that and he quirks a brow.

"I'm pretty sure you haven't touched a book in decades."

"True, that is up until last night however when I stumbled on the most delicious piece of work. It's a memoir, a brown leather bound book with two intertwined golden B on the spine. Some pretty good stuff." She gaps at him and then her eyes narrow and he notes that her cheeks are turning pink.

"You wouldn't dare!" she hisses and begins looking through her things. Getting up from her spot, she marches over to him and hoovers over the couch.

"Hand it over. You had no right reading my journal."

"For someone who hates me, you certainly have a lot of words."

"Damon!" she drags out his name in a whine and grounds her teeth, yet her embarrassment far ouwieghs her heated anger. He chuckles and standing he watches as she looks up to meet his towering person eye to eye. Leaning in towards her, he smoothly pulls forth her journal and places it in her hands.

"I hate you" she hisses, snatching it away.

"Ah...Ah...Ah Bonnie, play nice or I'll publish them on the internet, I do have photographic memory."

"Great, give the bastard another reason to be arrogant god!' she mutters under her breath and he grins, settling back into his prior position.

"What was that?"

"Must you be in here? I swear if you're just here in the hopes that I collapse or something, tough luck!" He turns serious then and the look he shoots in her direction makes her face flush and her heart stop.

"Perhaps you shouldn't joke so easily about your health Bonnie" he states in that dark, electrifying voice that never ceases to send a shiver up her spine. His eyes are dark now, stormy and complex. She swallows and returns to her reading, assuring herself that he had no effect on her what-so-ever. He continues to gaze at her with intense intent and as she continues to evade his gaze, his mood darkens. Downing his drink, he stands and again he notices the slight shift she makes in her seat. Nothing evades Damon Salvatore. Especially not when it involved this particular judgy little witch. Moving towards her, he leans over her chair and looks over her shoulder at the text in front of her.

"What have you found?"

"Absolutely nothing!" she murmurs exasperatedly and he watches as she flips the page without hope, in an aimless daze. Grabbing the book and the other she has as her next target, he moves towards his oak desk on the other side of the room and ignores the look she gives him.

"You need a new pair of eyes."

"I shouldn't have told you about my condition" she mutters under her breath and he grounds his teeth, choosing to ignore her. He catches the movement she makes as she brushes the hair from her face and rubs the tiredness from her eyes. His eyes move to the window and notices that it has darkened out.

"You should probably tell your grams that you're sleeping over. We're bound to find something tonight and it's far too late for you to drive." She watches outside and consents, the tiredness reaching her bones and making her aware of just how right he was. She would probably fall asleep at the wheel. A much quicker and painless death her mind bitterly asserts. Mentally shaking her head, she pulls out her phone and quickly sends a text. It's not long before she receives an affirmation and placing it on the table, she stands and walks over to his desk.  
Damon looks almost scholarly at his desk, intently focused on a passage. He's able to read both books at once from cover to cover without confusing either and she knows it must be incredible to be a vampire. Tapping her fingers slightly against the oak she stops when he lifts his gaze to hers.

"Are you hungry?"

"That depends, what do you have to eat?"

"Left overs and a few things here and there, depending on what Elena and Stefan has left from yesterday. You're welcome to it."

"Where are they by the way?"

"Out of town, as per usual." Bonnie notes the slightly tense note in his voice and nodding in response leaves the room. She would never know the true complexity of their situation and how it bothered Damon to watch the woman that he liked or loved-whichever-attached to the arm of his younger brother. She figured that it would hurt like hell and knowing Damon Salvatore, it probably did. She also wondered what he did in his free time besides drowning his sorrows in the intimate parts of women. What was he truly like without any of his guards up? She had only caught a glimpse of that side of him once and as shrewd as she was, even then she couldn't comprehend the intensity they contained, bleeding onto her heart.  
She misses the look in his eyes as he watches her leave and at the sight of some very professionally prepared foods, her mouth waters and for a second or too she forgets she's dying...


	2. Chapter 2

_**Authors note: Thank you ALL so very much for your support, favorites, follows and reviews. I love them all and I can't express how happy I am that you found some pleasure in this writing. Yes, I did intend this to be a multiple-chapter story. I only ask that you bare with me because the chapters will take a while to be uploaded. Thank you all so much once more and enjoy...this next one is for you guys! :)**_

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It's late and she doesn't know why but the night draws her out of the room that has now been tagged as hers in the Salvatore manor and as she pads down the hallway, she can't help but feel lighthearted. She gathers the tender olive green velveteen wrap around her shoulders more securely and sneaking out the back door, steps down the stone stairs and onto the huge expanse of land that travels to a distant horizon coated with trees and the unventured roots of the Mystic Falls forest. She shivers slightly as a light summer breeze brush past her and pulls her hair away from her face. She can smell the settling of rain in the earthen ground and moisture filled clouds darkening the night sky to a pitch black. It's been so long since she actually got drenched by the liquefying heaven. Her heart races in anticipation and she doesn't know why but she waits.

For once Bonnie waits for it and feels release as the first drop splatters onto the right cheek of her upturned face. It's like an iron clad coil unraveling from her chest and she lets the first sob to finally break free from her throat. The rest follows on it's own...by its own accord. She's kept it in for far too long she's realized and as the dam breaks, she no longer has control over her pain or her anguish or her sobs. She remains silent and allows the down pour to drain her sorrow, enclosing her in what felt like-for the first time in a very long time-liberation..comfort...and even...happiness.

Damon takes another sip of his drink and shrugging out of his t-shirt, prepares for another sleepless night. He doesn't know when was the last time he had actually slept. Centuries. He was used to insomnia, it was the only way of staying numb and in control. He liked it that way. Something pricks the hair on his neck and draws him to the window facing the back of the house. Bracing his forearm against the wet pane he watches the rain-magnificently defined to his distinctive eyes-and he notices the moon is covered by clouds. Yet that doesn't stop him from noticing the slight figure a midst the haze. It's like viewing some intimate part of her and as he continues to watch her, Damon wonders just how has something so beautiful evade him. Perhaps because you're always looking the other way, his mind accuses and brushing that aside he hungrily watches as she lifts her palms up to the water, as if it's some kind of nourishment and splashes it against her face. She laughs then and thank god for his hearing because it's one of the most beautiful things he's ever heard. He wonders then just why she's never laughed and smiled often because heavens, he could just about drown in her melodious, throaty laugh so full of innocence and joy and...life. When was the last time he heard that, he mentally quips. He searches his memory but finds nothing.

His feet moves before he can check himself and in the blink of an eye he's by the double paned french doors leading out to where she is. He pauses to watch her again and sees the small tremors that shakes her body and the light smile that catches her lips and the small gasp she makes as a gush of wind fly against her body taking her scarf with it. She reaches out as if to catch it but pauses and then opens her palm, watching as her naked arm get drench. He notices then that she's wearing one of his shirts from the clean hamper and smirking, silently slips out of the door and sneaks up on her. She gasps as his palms flatten against her shoulder and spinning around, he catches her to him as she looses her balance. a lock of hair splays across her face, a strand or two clinging to her lips. She blinks slowly and closes her eyes as he lifts his hand to brush them away from the sweet heart shape of her face.

"You shouldn't be out here, in this weather" he murmurs, like a rehearsed line that should be said in a moment like this with a delicate situation like the one they face. Bonnie's far from dull and she smiles and for once, it reaches her eyes lighting them up to a unique moss green.

"It's the least of my worries" she replies and turns her face back up the the cascading water.

"When was the last time you stood in the rain Damon, if ever? It's been so long, I've forgotten how much I loved this. Now whenever it rains, I'm always with Elena or Caroline or both and they hate getting wet. But this, it's like nothing I've ever had. I could never understood the feeling when I was little, but now I do." She looks at him then and the look in his mesmerized eyes tells her she needs not say more, he understands. They quickly change however and the grip he has on her shoulders tighten. Her smile fades and her eyes search his face for an answer.

"Damon? What's the matter?" She jolts in surprise when he reaches down and brushes the pad of his thumb against her nose and blinking, she opens her eyes to see the red on it. It hits her then, that dizzying turmoil that swims in her head. Her knees buckle and suddenly give in and she can't thank god enough for Damon's quick reflexes as he catches her and swinging her up into his arms, they move in a blinding daze. She feels the warmth of the dry house and then she succumbs to the darkness.


	3. Chapter 3

_**Thank you all so much once again. I keep getting surprised by all of your interest in my writing. I can't tell you how much it makes me laugh and smile (looking like a **_**_maniac mind you). You guys truly deserve a shot out...So HAPPY THIRD CHAPTER! Hope you like this as much as I do. Thank you for all your support and rave reviews...I would love to reply to all of you individually but I find this to be so much easier where everyone is included and I don't skip anyone. But I just might reply to you all individually, when I get some time...without any further disruption...here's the third chapter!_**

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"Are you happy? Are you pleased? Was sacrificing your health worth a drench in the rain?" He more than anyone understands that it is and he still does, yet he can't seem to get a handle on his temper. He watches her watch him though weary eyes and at her weak smile his scowls.

"It was" she murmurs calmly and that's enough to throw him into a rampage, but he doesn't, because he knows. He knows that if he does, it might take away from the happiness of her memory and that's the last thing he can ever do to her. He stays silent because if he were dying, he would want no tarnish on his happy moments or a daunt on his temporary bliss. He catches her as she lifts her hand and notices that her shirt is changed and tries and fails at hiding his smile as he sees her cheeks redden.

"Damon you did not-" she stops as she lifts her eyes to his grinning face and she flushes even more.

"You didn't, oh god please tell me you didn't?"

"I didn't look. Did it with my eyes closed." From the look in his eyes, she can tell that he's being honest but her mind shifts gears as she wonders just what kind of practice he's gotten around a ladies wardrobe to both undress and dress her with his eyes closed? Catching onto her train of thought, he smirks and as she notices, she averts her eyes.

"You're such a-"

"Narcissistic bastard, insufferable prat, male chauvinistic pig, man whore? Really Bonnie, you're running out of vocabulary." She tries hard to hide her smile but she can't help it. Damon Salvatore, she has come to learn can be a very humorous and insightful man; one of far more experience than her but one that has-for the first time in her life-equal and matched her in all things. It's a daunting realization but it's awfully comforting to know that old-fashioned still existed (somewhat) and no matter how hard he tried to bury it through vanity and brand name clothing, he was different.

He leaves her to her own devices for a while and it gives her time to let her mind wonder. At first she thinks of trifle things, things she could do and could have done. No matter how times changed, she had always found pleasure in the small things. She enjoyed baking in her grandmothers old-fashioned kitchen, looking out the back window and watching the summer light play peek-a-boo with the evergreen grass; the wild flowers tempting her to venture out. She likes visiting the orphanage right outside the town limits of Mystic Falls and reading to the kids. She likes cutting out images of foreign places from travel magazines and making collages, promising herself that she'll see the world, yet knowing it's the country side that draws her in, with it's warmth and seclusion and roving hills. She knows the yearning of a woman, to love and be loved. She knows the envy of seeing married couples, aged and youthful in their love. She knows the want for a child. The pain catches in her heart then because, it's like torture. To think of all the things she could have had yet knowing that they're forbidden from her.

Bonnie has never been one to give up or do things half-heartedly. She still isn't one of weak temperament and determination, yet sometimes she can't help but envy Elena and Caroline. Elena, so pretty and so hard to please. Against her will, she finds herself hardening towards her best friend...her sister; a girl so lost in her own wants that she never sees what she already has. A girl so selfish, she can never find solace. Then there's Caroline, beautiful and sweet Caroline. Always attached to shallow things unworthy of her love and attention. So set on riding the world of it's darkness, she forgets the light bowing down at her very feet. Bonnie sometimes wonder what it's like to have an impression on Klaus, a man so cold and stubborn yet so vulnerable and gentle with the woman he worships. If she could, she would cast a spell, one that dispels the dust and shade from the worlds eyes, from the eyes of her friends and the people like them, so miserable and set in the dark by their own devices. She would make them see how stupid and idiotic the things they thought was important were and she would make them happy. Yes, she would make they overflow with joy and laughter, so much so that they would never notice her absence.

She could imagine it, if she closed her eyes and tilted her head just right. She could see it, all unraveling in the Salvatore manor. Elena would be with Stefan, happy and content for once. She could see them together, perhaps discovering a way to have children bringing laughter into the empty manor. She could imagine Caroline over, elegant and glowing; always glowing. And there, there's Klaus at her arm, whispering softly into her ear and making her laugh that utterly child-like laugh of hers. They look magnificent together. But what's that, her brows crinkle and her attention shifts to the dark, ominous cloud in the room. Damon Salvatore. A complexity of a complex man personified. Yet, to her naked eyes, she saw him as he was. Tortured and broken and lost. Like her. He hid it well, so well he had come close to fooling her many times. But if she looked closely and just right, she sees the edge around his enchanting irises and the hardened set of his jaw, Yet she can also see the softness of his lips and the dent in which when his smiled, curved his face into that of a Greek god. Well and truly sculpted.

It's then that her train of thought gets shattered and takes her on another spine altogether. She had often contemplated what he must have looked like in regency times. She could imagine the dark of his hair set against the crisp white of his lien shirt. She can imagine the awe-inspiring sight of him perched in a relaxed state on his stallion, dressed in riding finery. Unaware of the smile she has on her face, she continues to conjure up image after image; amusing herself so much so that she doesn't even hear when he opens and closes the door.

Damon pauses as he watches Bonnie smile from ear to ear, her eyes closed as if she's asleep. He places the tray on the table besides her bed and contemplates whether he should wake her or not. He wonders just what she's dreaming that makes her so happy. Definitely nothing concerning you, his bitter mind responds and his own unconscious grin disappears, as does his happiness. Always short lived. Mentally shaking his head, he clears his throat and decides to step forward to wake her when her eyes fly open and turn in his direction in surprise.

"H...how long have you been standing there?"

"Long enough. Now, when you're done daydreaming about me, you should eat." She avoids his gaze and makes no smart retort like her normal self would. Strange. He watches as she continues to evade his gaze and turn towards her meal. He waits until she's gotten a full spoonful down and continues his examination of her. She couldn't possibly have been thinking about him, could she? If Damon Salvatore was one thing, he was as wicked as a school boy and never gave up on an opportunity of amusing his mischievous streak.

"You know Bon, if you wanted to see me naked, all you have to do is ask...nicely!"

If anyone were to be lurking around Salvatore manor or a more closer range like outside of Bonnie's room, they would have heard a hearty and honest male laugh; one that sounded foreign and unused yet so genuine, it should be invoked more and more often. Finally, if they were to tilt their head towards the sound, they would hear coughs and sputters of choking; harmonizing with the resounding laughter...


	4. Chapter 4

_**Thank you guys for your continued support. This is a short chapter, but I hope you guys enjoy it!**_

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"We should never cheat ourselves out of happiness." It's a random statement that's placed out in the open but it's not shocking. They've been in each others company long and frequently enough now that it's quite normal for such a statement to be made. He's studying a worn leather bound book while she lays against the cushioned seat across from his desk, staring at the ceiling. How the roles have reversed. They've come to establish a mutual, silent understanding of each other, easily discussing their personal ideologies, pain and the trifle things they normally never acknowledge or mention in cryptic, complex verses and intensely wise exchanges. It's strange how they get on well and comfortably, not at all what they would have imagined had circumstances been different. However, like both have come to know, circumstances often force people to strip bare their defenses and lay down their soul, if it means someone else knowing them for the time being as they spend their last moments.

"Why do you say that? Perhaps we cheat ourselves out of 'our' happiness for the sake of another ..maybe someone we know or feel deserves it more."

"Yes but what if it's your only chance? Do we simply give it up and feed off of theirs? It's never the same."

"When you've lived in the shadows long enough, it becomes all you know Bon. It's the fault of humanity, some always sacrifice until there's nothing left." She feels as if the comment has hit a little too close to home for him and she stays quiet for a moment. It's like a missing piece of an intricate puzzle fitting into a spot that answered so many questions. It all made sense now. All his life, Damon Salvatore had been sacrificing his happiness and very existence for his younger brother. He had given up the woman he loved greatly time and time again for the sake of his sibling and although he never spoke about their relationship, she sensed a great deal of love towards the younger Salvatore. She had spied a silver framed portrait of the boys when they were quite young on Damon's desk and had spied him more than once brushing his fingers over it, his eyes hooded and far away. He was a protector she had come to learn and he fought that streak in him; struggled to contain the natural inclination to step in and do the right thing. He was also short tempered, as she had seen him one too many time roughen up a guy or two for their ill-mannered behavior towards those of the other gender. If she remembered clearly, she had witnessed him in action once or twice, outside of the Mystic Grill. He never talked about his "glorious gentlemanly ways" as she likes to tease him but he does convey his hatred towards the mistreatment of women. She finds her respect for him growing immensely as she continues to be in his company and surprisingly, they genuinely enjoy each others presence.

There's continued silence for a long time and a quick scan towards the couch would have Damon thinking that she's asleep, but her eyes stay distant and her body stays still. It takes her a few moments to revive her confidence, long enough for her to formulate a proper execution of what it is that she wants to ask him next.

"What's it like?" As he lifts his head and cocks a brow at her to elaborate, she turns her head towards him.

"What's it like to love her?" She watches as he stiffens for a moment, studying her face, her eyes and perhaps listen to the beating of her heart. She sighs when he remains quiet and closes her beautiful emerald green eyes, preventing him from getting drowned in their liquid warmth.

"I'm sorry. I will never know what it's like...I thought...that perhaps you would be willing to tell me."

"It's like breathing and drowning at the same time. With Katherine everything was a frenzy and impassioned addiction. The way she walked, the way she smiled, the way she talked, the way she dressed. Everything. It's like everything about her draws you in and keeps a hold on you. But I've come to realize that that's not what love's about, it was merely the aura of a vampire, established to draw you in and drain you from the inside out. We all have it, there was nothing special about her." He watches her, still laying there with her eyes closed and wonders what she's thinking, just what was it that when on in the tiny witch's head.

"And Elena?" It doesn't shock him as much when she broaches this question and smiling, he indulges her.

"I simply feel in love with her features, so much like the original, it sent my mind reeling. It's another thing about being a vampire, the heightened emotional senses, the connection you get from your creator and the attachment you develop. Stefan and I were like dogs to Katherine, jumping at her every whim and plead. Even after learning about her betrayal, her bitterness, I couldn't help but be drawn in. Elena is a lot like her great grandmother in that way. At first I thought she was the woman I had believed I loved a long time ago, but tainted mirrors have a tendency to reveal themselves over time and again I realized that she was just a face; a symbol of something that hadn't truly belonged to me and something that kept haunting me time and again."

"I'm so sorry Damon" she whispers and his brows furrow.

"What for?"

"Everything."

It isn't a word that carries a lot of substance, but when Bonnie states it in the way she does, it knocks the wind out of him. She's too young to understand. It had always been his defense, but suddenly she opens her eyes and in them he finds a mirror to his inner turmoil. In them he finds solace...


	5. Chapter 5

**_Thank you guys for your continued support. Sorry for the long wait, had some exams to cram for!_**

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Bonnie settles into a comfortable state in Damon's car, resting her head on the window. She watches as the summer heat coil in the air across the hills outside of Mystic Falls. She personally thinks they're going on a wild goose chase, but she has never been one to shoot down someone else hope. She would rather them figure it out on their own, at their own pace and in the gentlest way possible. At the movement from the corner of her eyes, she turns her head to see him returning from the the store inside the gas station, a cool, refreshing bottle of ice tea in his hand. She swallows the dryness in her throat and eagerly reaches over to unlock his door for him. Stepping into the car, he hands her the bottle and she takes it with great appreciation. He watches her eagerly take a sip and sigh blissfully, as if he's handed her heaven. If it's one thing that he likes about Bonnie Bennett, it's the way she is easily pleased; the littlest of things never ceasing to bring a smile on her face.

"So. Where to next?" she asks, turning towards him as they pull out of the station and onto the road again. He smiles at her and shrugging turns his attention back to the road.

"We'll just have to wait and see." She pouts slightly but her light hearted nature, which thrives in his presence, quickly takes control and she's back to chatting animatedly with him, pointing out stupid little things that would normally not matter to him, but for her sake he paid extra attention. Damon watched her, in the aftermath of her colloquial rampage to the still and set silence. It's odd not hearing her voice but he can sense that she needs the quiet and as much as she's talkative, she's reserved. He shifts his gaze back to the road and at the sound of her voice he turns.

"It's a lot easier to be lost than found. It's the reason we're always searching, and rarely discovered-so many locks, not enough keys."  
She turns to him then and he can tell that the sadness had finally reached her eyes and she was dwindling away from hope. Stiffening slightly, he gripped the steering wheel tighter and looked ahead.

"It's only easier to be lost rather than found when someone doesn't want to be found. It's quiet difficult to find someone when they're trying their absolute best to not be, isn't it? As for the searching, it's necessary for the sake of discovery. Without it, discovery and resolution ceases to exist. And perhaps we should stop trying to fit every key in a lock and instead try testing the door first to see whether it's open or locked. You'd be amazed at how many are open and require little to no work." She smiles slightly then, because it's only Damon that can fully interpret her statements and counter them with equally challenging points.

"You sound certain, speaking from personal experiences?" she teases him and he grins.

"You'd be surprised." It's all he says but she understands and nodding in agreement at that, focuses her attention of the spiraling road, never-ending to her worn eyes. She takes another drink from the cold beverage and somewhere along the ride, drifts into a sleep.  
Bonnie distantly hears a car door closing and making a little murmur, she sighs and shifts, settling deeper in her sleep. Damon watches her for a moment, pausing in his uncertainty whether to wake her or not. It's strange but for some odd reason, as he looks on at her peaceful state, the pain edges from his bones and the harsh glare that usually coats the rings of his irises dwindle away, warming them. Leaning in through the window, he brushes away the escaping hair that billowed in the wind and murmured her name. She sighs and the warmth of her breath, so very alive under his grasp, sings against his chilled palm. How long has it been since he's felt such warmth? It's like getting swallowed by the sun and pulling back his hand, he examines it; almost as if it should have a scar or mark. Was it odd that he felt warmth in that spot long after? Was he imagining the liveliness of his hand or the pink that marked it as a living human? He watched it for a moment and shaking his head, turned to survey the land. He needed to distract her. He had noticed more and more frequently her panic, her frenzy at finding her cure and suddenly the night before flashes back in his memory.

Having decided to retire to bed early, he moved away from the fire place and made his nightly inspection at making sure everything was locked and secured. It wasn't until he brushed in close proximity of the library that he heard her muffled sniffs. He looked in through the peek of the door and watched her hoovered over the pile of books he had left open, frantically wiping at her cheeks and rubbing her eyes. She shook her head and continued on with her notes, only to start all over again and finally pulling away, stood and moved towards the other end of the room. She stood there, staring out of the window facing the back of the manor and he watched as she hugged herself.

"It's never too late to be what you might have been" (quote by George Eliot) Its the first time he's heard her so resigned and it alarms him. She repeats the same thing over and over again and all of a sudden it's all too much and he turns and leaves. It isn't until he's on the road, far away from the house that his mind cools and the tight grip he has on the steering wheel that turns his knuckles white loosen. He braces his head against the back of his seat and closes his eye. The image of her exasperation and resignation eats at him and he doesn't know why. To say that he's never cared about Bonnie Bennett would be a lie. Sometimes he valued her above everyone else because with her he was honest. He was blatant and cynical but she taught him to be lighthearted yet truthful and real to himself. She never sought anything from him or used him for her gain. She didn't hold expectations or false hopes of him based on what he "seemed" to be. Bonnie Bennett was priceless and even if it killed him, he was hell bent on saving her!

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_**The following quotes used were:**_

_**1. "It's never too late to be what you might have been" by George Eliot**_

_**2. "It's a lot easier to be lost than found. It's the reason we're always searching, and rarely discovered-so many locks, not enough keys." by Sarah Dessen- Lock and Key**_


	6. Chapter 6

Bonnie didn't know when she had fallen asleep but something grasped at her from the unconscious realm and told her to wake up. Her eyes slowly opened and she shifted, sitting up and rubbing her eyes. She looked out of her car window to find that they were not in the wild-flower fields like he had told her they were going but instead parked a few feet away from a cliff edge. Her gaze bolted in the direction of Damon, alarm clouding her mind temporarily. Breathing a sigh of relief when she spotted him, she blinked to make sure she still wasn't dreaming.

There he stood, at the edge looking as if a little wind itself would drag him over and down into the awaiting abyss. There was something about the way that he looked that caused her to open up her door and step out of the car. She needed the stretch. Moving towards him, she paused at his side. It was a long time before she turned her head to look at him and when she did she almost lost her breath. He looked like he belonged on one of those books she used to read when she was young, playing the dark, cynical and tortured hero opposite some bland, helpless protagonist. Her humor pricked then and she smiled, wondering if she had turned into the bland, helpless creature she had often times fumed and ranted over. Mentally shaking her head, she focused on the dark, ominous cloud that had settled over Damon and touching his shoulder, she watched as he turned to her calmly, as if in a daze. His eyes registered her face but something told her that he wasn't truly seeing; that he was far away.

"I thought I was the one dying here" she murmured softly and it was then that he snapped out of his daze and grounding his teeth, he chose to ignore her statement. She smiled a humorless smile and turning back to the view in front of them, breathing a sigh of relief. The sun was setting. Rays of color she had never seen before lite the sky up in a flash in a sudden velocity that she would never truly be able to explain and it disappeared just as quickly, causing her to wonder if she had imagined it's alluring vibrancy. She jolted slightly when Damon spoke, snapping out of her hypnosis.

"I sometimes come here when I need to remain grounded. The sun settles here the fastest and it's like humanity and life. It's here one moment and in a flash it's gone, erased from the surface as if it was never there. The rays are the experience they get out of their stay here. If you don't make memories, there won't be any colors, any vibrancy."

"You say that as if you're not included" she inspects and he wonders why people constantly underestimate Bonnie. Had he said those exact words to someone else, they would had passively condone his "poetic" interpretation but not Bonnie Bennett. Instead, she had noticed that he excluded himself in his observations and smiling at her blandly, he watched her shake her head.

"You exclude yourself Damon. Why? You died once too. You more than anyone should know this feeling."

"You're wrong Judgy. My death was temporary. Death itself is everlasting, it has no ending period, humans don't know when they'll wake up and what they'll turn into. It's different" he argued but something in her eyes tells him that she sees the vulnerability in him but he doesn't hide it. He figures that perhaps it will help her understand better.

"You discredit yourself far too much and far to often. A death is still a death no matter how short lived. You undergo the same emotions as any other individual does. You can't possibly tell me you weren't worried that you wouldn't make it through the transformation. That in my opinion is far worse. Knowing that you had willingly under gone death for the sake of becoming immortal and knowing that there was a slight possibility that you wouldn't make it altogether. That's nerve wrecking." He stays quiet and she likes to think that she's won the battle and given him something to think about. For some reason, she reaches out and holds onto his hand; the space between his fingers housing hers perfectly. He doesn't pull away but instead, curls his fingers and traps her hand in his and sneaking a look at him, she sees one of Damon's genuine smile teasing his lips...


	7. Chapter 7

She nervously rings her finger, unsure as to how she should go about making a proposition. This is by far one of the strangest requests she will ever ask any person but if it's anyone, she's glad to know it's Damon Salvatore. Bonnie's unaware of the fact that Damon has stopped studying the books laid out in front of him and is now watching her intently pace back and forth; a small twinkle of amusement lights up his eyes.

"Spit it out Bonnie" he murmurs and she starts. Spinning on her heels, she looks at him, swallows and rings her hands again. He's fully curious now and lifting a brow, he watches her have a metal battle with herself. She shifts about for a little while more and slowly-as if she's made up her mind-she moves towards his desk. He leans back into his seat and watches her slide into a seat from across him. Folding her hands together, she rests it on the table and stares at the engraving he had carved in there when he was six. It was a neat "D.S loves mom" because he knew when she was cleaning the office, she would notice it. Smiling slightly, she summoned courage and looked at him.

"I..I've never done this before." She takes a moment after that, shifting in her seat and clearing her throat. Damon again cocks a brow and holds back his smile, allowing her to say whatever it was that she needed to say out loud.

She doesn't quite look him in the eyes and it's then that he gets the hint and sickening suspicion in his head as to what she's trying to avoid saying blatantly. Alarm rings in his head, because he's not the person. She shouldn't seek anything from him. He was never adequate enough to fulfill wishes. Bonnie had high expectations and if it were anyone, he didn't want to disappoint her the most.

"I know what you're thinking in your head. But, just listen to me...I know I shouldn't ask this of you but I will anyway. You're the only person...man that I'm comfortable enough around to ask this favor. Let's face it Damon, we're not getting any closer to a cure and...there's so many things that I want to do before that time-" The fierceness in his eyes tells her to leave it there and so she continues on, on another plain altogether; again not looking at him. She finds it scary to speak intimately and look into his eyes; it's too much for her and she shivers at the intensity she feels his eyes emit onto her skin.

"This isn't something cheap and I'm not doing it because 'everyone else is doing it.' I will never know what it's like to kiss another person, knowingly and kindly. I will never be able to connect with another individual like I do with you, I don't have enough time. You're the only man I...trust. And let's face it, we "know" each other. No other man has ever allowed me to ask questions about their wounds and they certainly have never taken the interest in the prospect of entertaining and enlightening me. You're the only person I've grown to like these days. If not you then who?" She meets silence in the room and her heart breaks because it's what she had expected and had hoped wouldn't happen. It was too soon to push him, she was supposed to slowly pursue him and charm him, long enough that when it came time for this proposal, he would be ready. Swallowing back her disappointment, she utters a broken apology and makes a turn for the door only to stop dead in her tracks when his hand grips hers and pulls her back into him, her soft body colliding into the hard planes of his torso. Electricity, one of thick voltage surges between them and it's like a crackling of thunder. His hand slowly travels the slope of her delicate shoulders to the soft of her hands and twining his fingers into the space between hers, he gives them a gentle squeeze and she breathes, relaxing and allowing her body to press into stay like that for a breath of a moment, long enough for something to change in the both of them and then his warm breath is in her ears.

"I'll do this but you have to know that it'll take time Bon. You're...new...at this. You should be able to use me not the other way around" he senses that she's about to interject and say she'd never use him but he shushes her, both of them knowing exactly what he means.

"I've done this often to enact revenge and to quench my hate for myself. I don't want you on the receiving end of that part of me. Think of it as a new experience for the both of us...give me...give me sometime...I haven't made love to a woman in a very long time..."He kisses the sensitive spot between her shoulder and neck as if to close their discussion and she jolts unaware of how responsive that part of her is. If anyone had asked her, she would say Damon Salvatore was a Casanova through and through and had he allowed her to speak, she would have told him just how wonderful he made her feel. It had become a physical pain to her, to see him-true and genuine to a fault-and the need to physically touch his had developed into a hunger-like obsession to her but before she could reach out, he was gone.


End file.
